Crocodile Tears
by Ebony Nemesis
Summary: What if events following Aya-chan's kidnapping wasn't as the anime had shown it? What if Crawford was assigned to a mission that would be more sinister and abominable than ever? Warning, Yaoi contents.
1. Prologue

**Crocodile Tears **

**Genre: Angst/Drama**

**Rating: pg-13 (Reference to sex, dark depressing themes)**

**Summary: What if events following Aya-chan's kidnapping wasn't as the anime had shown it? What if Crawford was assigned to a mission that would be more sinister and abominable than ever? **

Bradley Crawford walked briskly down the dark corridor. He considered redoing his tie, then decided to leave it as it was. The girl was not going to notice anyway, she's not going to notice much except for the humiliation and the pain. 

He hated his job. 

Quietly, Crawford took out a set of keys from his Armani suit. He fumbled around with them until he saw the small silver key to the heavy bolt on the door.

It doesn't take much to unlock something so terribly huge. 

Crawford lifted the bolt and went into the dark room. He heard shuffling and someone sniffed from the far corner of the room. Crawford sighed and reached for the light switch. Instantly pale yellow beams flooded the room, leaving no shadows for one to find sanctuary. Crawford turned and shut the door, then turned to meet the frightened brown orbs. 

Fujimiya Aya was merely a child. Her body was yet to develop, her expression so naïve and her thoughts containing hardly a trace of impurity. Estet has been successful in treating her coma. They had also made sure that she, like most other people who knew about Estet, was locked up and supervised under tight security. 

¡­Except for Schwartz and a few others, Weiss included. 

Crawford sighed and looked up. The little surveillance camera was staring down at them with bright red eyes. He suddenly had an urge to do something Schuldig often did, cast an undignified sign at it. 

He turned back to the frightened child. He could call her nothing but a child. She tucked her knees under her chin and curling her body into the tightest ball she can manage. 

"What are you going to do to me?" Her voice was trembling, as was every other part of her. Big drops of tears threatened to flood the brown orbs and spill over that smooth cheek. Crawford could feel the beginning of a headache. He detested women crying.

"I am ordered to ¡­ sleep with you."

She shivered at the indifference of his voice, he saw her as a job, as a mission to complete. She shuddered at the thought that he might not even want to enjoy what little pleasure there is out of this revolting act. He didn't see her as a person, much less a woman, just some mission. Some body he had to have sex with.

"Why?"

Crawford smirked. He can't help it, Fujimiya was almost too naïve, somebody is going to rape you and you are asking for reasons?

"Why do you think I'd do it?"

"¡­Because somebody told you to." One naughty tear finally overcame the barrier and slid down her face. She rubbed it off, she would not cry, she has nothing left to cry of. 

She was so scared, her heart was hammering against her ribs and she felt her lungs suddenly too small to supply enough oxygen. Her brain was muddled and she could not think, could not contemplate this situation. She could only stare at this monster in front of her. 

Monster- Crawford cannot be classified as a normal human being. He felt almost as humiliated as Fujimiya. God, to think, he's going to do something so degrading¡­ so cruel¡­ so inhumane for¡­ for what? Was it for money, for Estet, for sadistic reasons or just for the words whispered into his head by a certain German?

He was going to rape an innocent human being for no particular reason¡­ he was going to commit a crime so much more unforgiving than any other he committed. And one more to add, he had never had sex before. 

Laugh if you might, but there was little humor in this. 

How could he ask for pleasure when he had committed so much unforgivable deeds? How could he possibly endure the torture of sleeping with an innocent? How could he bear the thoughts that through the most intimate act of adjoining of two people, he could easily corrupt a beautiful being into one as sinful as he is? He could pass on his crime to another person. He could infect somebody with all the virus of his soul. 

He would not enjoy this, he could not enjoy this, and he would hate this. 

He stares at the doe eyed girl. She had been right. He was going to commit a sin because somebody told him to. Just like every other sin he had committed, he was driven. He was a coward. No excuse could get him off the hook for this. 

Fujimiya moved towards him. Foolish, childish moves she made. Yet despite to the lack of grace in that¡­ crawling and the absence of consideration in the motive, he was moved by the simple act of it, simply because it was foolishly¡­ brave. 

Sometimes foolishness and courage is the same thing. 

¡­ But this was different. She was brave because she knew she had nothing to loose. She was brave because she's facing her loss of reputation and possibly the most precious gift she possess as a female. She was brave because she acknowledged her fate and the fact that she knew she couldn't run from it. She was brave because she refused to be forced into this.

How thoughtless of her, he thought as she kneeled next to him, how absolutely thoughtless and how absolutely imbecile. What had driven her to commit such an imbecile and thoughtless act? Why was she closing in the distance between this monster, instead of distancing from it?

She touched his face. 

His eyes followed her fingertips as they moved away from that brief contact and he gasped. 

A tear was glistering on that delicate fingertip of hers- the pure and glistering moisture that came from such a heartless being. 

Crocodile tears, that¡¯s the term used to describe a show of sorrow that is not actually felt. It is a term very appropriate for this situation. Crawford closed his eyes and regulated his body professionally.

¡°It won¡¯t hurt as much if you cooperate with me.¡±

**A/N: **How was that? Did you like it? I'm thinking of continuing this, but that'll only happen if I have a positive response¡­ so¡­ please review! Thank you!


	2. Part 1

**Part One**

**By Ebony Nemesis January 2004**

**Disclaimer: **Copyright Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiß, I'm just screwing around with them. __

**Warning: **Yaoi (Hey I'm ME!), mild violence, mentions of rape, adult themes.  

**Chapter 1: Of All the Outcomes, This**

Fujimiya Ran never despaired. That was why he became an assassin; that was why he survived as an assassin; that was why he would make it through as an assassin; and that is going to be the reason why he would end his life being assassin.

But now, as Ran walked dolefully towards the hospital where his sister is situated, Ran felt something close to despair, not total despair, something more akin to dread. He did not know what happened to his sister, he did not think he want to know what happened to his sister, for he feared that the worst has happened. 

"Mr. Fujimiya? Ms Fujimiya's brother?" the nurse greeted him. He nodded.

"What did you find out?"

"Mr. Fujimiya, I think it would be a good idea to sit down…"

"What did they do to her?!" He snapped, enraged that they took him for some delicate woman. "Tell me, I can handle it, did they poison her, use her as an experiment?"

"They… assaulted her, sexually."

Ran did sit down then, his face blanched if it was possible, and he bit his lips, hard. "How bad is it?" the words came out of his mouth but did not sound like him, he's not this placid, he's not this impassive. Damn it……

"No permanent damage done, the person responsible was very…gentle. But there is one thing…she is pregnant."

"You lie!" Ran grabbed the nurse's collar and pulled her close. His temper snapped like electricity in the clouds, like thin ice breaking.

"Mr Fujimiya…" The nurse squeaked, "p…please…"

The door of the room opened and Ran released her and hastened to his sister's room. "Aya…"

Aya looked so pale, so very pasty and porcelain. Her mouth struggled to form a smile. "Brother…"

"Oh Aya…" Ran sat down beside the bed, trying to find words of comfort, "I…" he stopped, he didn't know what to say, two years of iciness and he has forgotten how to comfort a child. 

Aya was but a child…and Aya was pregnant.   

A child was pregnant with a child.

Ran clutched Aya's hand, he didn't know what to say, what to do. For two and a half years he had sat next to her and wished one day that she would open her eyes and call him "brother…" but not like this, not this way… 

There is no god, this he knew all too well, but Ran could not accept that after all his struggles and drudgery; this was what he got? Maybe this was his punishment. This was what he gets for drenching his sister's name with blood, a sister that was stained. 

"I'm ok brother…" 

"Who did this to you?" Ran asked abruptly. He wanted to swallow his words immediately, after all these years this is the first sentence he says? 

"I don't know brother, but he was a gentleman, he didn't want to, but he had to…" Aya's lower lips trembled, and she buried her face in his brother's black leather.

Ran pushed her away, as if he was afraid that he might contaminate her, he took off his trench coat and pulled Aya back into his arms, letting her touch only his orange jumper. 

"Brother Ran, I'm scared…" 

Aya breathed in his brother's scent. He smelt the same, of fabric softener and hair conditioning. But there was a faint subtle hint of flowers, fresh and serene like spring rain, and the cool summer night air. There was something else distinctively masculine, a sort of coppery undertone, metallic and dominating. So unlike his brother in some sense, Aya's Ran was always tender and peaceful.

Time is a mindless tyrant. Just two and a half years of separating, and two siblings felt like strangers to each other.

Ran rested his cheek on her sister's brunette hair, inhaling the scent of hospital beds and relishing in the texture of the soft silk-like curls. He didn't dare lean his weight on her for it seemed that just the tiniest forces could shatter her. A voice kept on repeating itself in the back of his head, why, why her? What did she do to deserve all this? She was innocent, she did nothing wrong…

Why did she have to pay for the felony he committed?

"Aya…" Ran breathed in, willing that assassin part of him to take over his body, so he could freeze up all his feelings… so he could at least, have control.

"I work in a flower shop with three other men, I'd like it if you come and live with us. We'd take care of you."

"I… brother…" Aya looked, her mind struggled to register that this cold, emotionless voice is coming from her brother, her gentle, sensitive brother.

"Oh Aya…" Ran softened. He shouldn't threaten her like this…he shouldn't be so bleak to her… he shouldn't have shown her this side of him…

But it was too late. Aya looked at him with confusion in her doe like eyes. "Brother…" 

Ran shook his head. "Rest, Aya, be strong. And soon, you'll be able to be with me…at last." He kissed the brown curls. 

But the words only left a wider gap for Aya's imagination to fill. 

**Chapter 2: It's All a Game**

It did not happen in one day. 

First it was those nights of freezing coldness and bloody memories that drew Nagi into Schuldig's bed, not to have sex, but for the mere warmth of another human body. Schuldig was freeing as well, so he embraced the heat. 

Then it became more and more frequent, until the evitable became the inevitable. That is, not just sleeping. And damages that would be caused by these unconscious or conscious decisions could have been avoided, but risks were made deliberately. Sometimes, there is no such thing as fate, because sometimes the inevitable was probably at first the evitable. 

Nagi didn't move, in fact, Nagi couldn't move. His body was screaming in protest-_ still_ was screaming in protest because of inappropriate use of certain body parts. God, his muscles felt like lead, not that there were a lot in the first place and he felt like he has just ran the whole way from Tokyo to Kyoto and back again. 

Nagi buried his face in the bedspreads and inhaled, full of Schuldig, full of the male odour that was, to tell the truth, rather unpleasant, but unfortunately, very addictive. Schuldig had always the mixture of cigarettes, sweat, and sex. Schuldig didn't usually smell like this, he was a surprisingly clean person- probably constantly tortured by his own vanity. Maybe it's another mask he puts on to cover up all that blood that constantly infest in their clothes, in all of their clothes. And Nagi knew that Schuldig hated it as much as he did. That is why Schuldig showers twice a day, and Nagi had 9 sets of uniforms. 

This was why Nagi was lingering on that smell, lingering on the rare hint of the man behind the cruel assassin. And he knew that he might as well try to catch a shadow of his past or the passing reflection of time. 

He heard the water being turned off in the shower, and the next moment he felt the familiar warmth of a human body, and the familiar scent of shampoo and that undertone of masculinity. 

"Are you doing that activity which distracts you from more important stuff and gives me a gargantuan headache?" A pair of strong arms wrapped around Nagi, surrounding him in a warm shell. Schuldig was about the last person he'd think of receiving warmth and peace from, but, well, life has rewarded him with many surprises recently. 

Nagi turned around and winced. The arm around him squeezed gently, a silent apology- well, as close as it can get to an apology. Nagi reached out with his hands and searched for Schuldig's face in the darkness. "Depends on how you interpret 'distracting', I am thinking about you." 

Schuldig sighed, "Thinking is overrated. Why would you need to think about me when you have me by your side? Besides, you're lying, you were thinking about Crawford as well."   

Nagi smirked. "Schuldig, when would you get into your tiny little brain behind that fat ego that you are _not the only thing alive in the world? He's slipped into depression ever since the last mission a month ago. This is Oracle we're talking about, Oracle who's never out of control with himself." Nagi contemplated. He saw the look on Schuldig's face; even if Schuldig was listening Nagi knew Schuldig's reply would be the same._

"Who cares?" Nagi rolled his eyes. "You are in a bed, naked, with me in the same bed, also naked." Schuldig climbed on top of Nagi, "Doesn't that sound like a _lot of possibilities?" _

Nagi looked up at him with dark empty voids. It sounded like only one option for him, sex. Something Nagi both liked, and hated about Schuldig, it's always about sex- pure, unadulterated sex. Nothing else, no emotional attachments, no guilt that he's sleeping…

"Honey, my telepathy has not gone off with my orgasm a while ago, so I can hear what you're thinking so clearly. Nagi sweetheart, you've killed people, you've gotten drunk before, you've even smoked marijuana, sex is nothing compared to that. It's just one step closer to the certain hell you're going to end up in one day." Schuldig threw back his head and laughed, "And to think, me, feeling guilty, where does that come from huh? My name is the only aspect of me that has anything to do with 'guilt'."

Nagi had turned his head to one side and dismissed Schuldig's speech. 

Schuldig rolled off Nagi and laughed, obviously pissed off. Nagi had always feared that laugh, that insanity bubbling from somewhere deep within Schuldig, it was a constant painful reminder of who Schuldig really is, a blood-thirsty, cold-hearted killer. 

_-So are you Nagi, you're no different from anyone of us _Schuldig sent to Nagi as he sat up and pulled on some pants. -_Don't let it get into that fat little ego of yours that you are different. Schuldig leant close to Nagi's face and said out loud, "You're a freak, a spoilt one as well. Some people would actually __pay to get into my bed, and you're not even appreciating the privilege." _

"What privilege?" Nagi asked, suppressing the fire of fury threatening to take over his hand and make him slap Schuldig. "I didn't know getting into a whore's bed was a privilege…"

_Slam! _Nagi's back hit the window sill so hard he saw black in the back of his eyes. Schuldig had grabbed him by his neck and threw him like he was a ragged doll, _Schuldig's ragged doll. _

_-That's right my pretty doll, _Schuldig laughed mentally. -_That should teach you about manners. Now, you have been so good all evening and you just had to ruin it. I don't like you anymore, he mocked Nagi, -_and I don't want you in here. Bye- bye, ta- ta! _ Schuldig waved his hands childishly, his mock happiness stinging and searing. Nagi attempted to get up, but he could feel bruises forming on the back of his spine and shoulder-blades due to the impact. He winced, but stood up due to the pain. He would __not bow to Schuldig. _

"Nagi, Just give up," Schuldig still sat on the bed, as if nothing had happened. "You're not going to win." 

"This is all a game to you isn't it?" Nagi asked grimly.

"Well what did you think it was?" Schuldig's mock happiness was _really _getting onto Nagi's nerves. "Life is to be fucked around with Nagi, especially for us." 

"Get a life Schuldig." 

"Look who is talking, freak."

Nagi winced as he slammed the door on Schuldig's smirking, scornful face.   

**Chapter 3: Layers**

Yohji Kudou wiped at his forehead; sweat was gathering on the thick honey coloured eyebrows.  He may not say it, but he holds much the same opinion towards the flock of girls that arrive in Koneko No Sume Ie each day as Aya does. He sighed; sometimes there was a limit to how much admiration you can withstand, of course, that was only sometimes. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder, straightening his back he breathed in and turned around, a professional playboy smile plastered on his face. To his relief, ti was only Aya and…Sakura? Yohji frowned at the arm firmly placed around 'Sakura's' shoulders; Yohji Kudou was not in favour of any type of paedophilia. 

"Aya, you're back…" Yohji smiled sarcastically, "and Sakura, how nice of you to visit." 

"Brother?' 'Sakura' turned her head to Ran, "what did he call me?" 

Ran sighed as girls were already beginning to surround him. He dragged Yohji by the sleeve and led the two into the storeroom. "We'll talk inside." Ran muttered.

Yohji pried Ran's hand off him as soon as they were among the flowers. "Care to explain O' great leader? Why is Sakura calling you brother, and have you been crying?" 

Ran pointedly ignored the second question. Turning to his sister, he said. "Aya, this is Yohji, Yohji, this is my sister, Aya." He said, placing a slight emphasis on 'sister'. 

Yohji smiled pleasantly, "you have so gracefully gotten me confused, aren't YOU Aya?" 

Ran looked at the floor. "My real name is Ran; I took my sister's name in order to revenge for her after she was hit by Taketori." 

Yohji nodded, "Ah… so that's where all that 'Shi-ne Taketori' crap came from." He turned to Aya-Chan. "My pleasure to meet such fine young lady, Miss Fujimiya." He took Aya's hand and lightly brushed it with his lips. Aya-chan giggled. 

"Kudou…" 

Yohji let go of the delicate fingers and threw up his hands, "Ok, ok, I've a reputation to keep up you know." _And by the looks of it, so do you. Yohji looked at Ay-Ran, he still had his arm around Aya but his face is a neutral mask. Ran was keeping up two reputations, trying to be a good brother and at the same time trying to hide his emotions.  _

"So, I'm gathering that my lady here would be staying with us?" 

Aya nodded, "She'll be in my room, and I…"

"… will be sharing a room with me. That's not a problem." Yohji cut him off, he knew A- Ran was about to say he will sleep in the mission room, but Yohji was not about to let anyone suffer from sleeping on that lumpy couch. He'd be nice; he'd even sacrifice a few nights with the ladies for Ran's sake. The guy looks like he should definitely take a break.   

Aya looked at her brother, then at the handsome man whom his brother calls Kudou. There was something special between the two men. They seemed so at ease with each other, but at the same time, there was a thin layer of film between them. They trusted each other but at the same time, they knew that the other is not telling them the truth, or at least, the entire spectrum of truth. Aya didn't understand this, just like she didn't understand her brother, how he seems to be two different people at the same time. Aya was confused; she felt like she has just woken up from a nap, but Ran told her that it's been two years… she was nearly eighteen. 

Aya closed her eyes as she felt a bit dizzy, she's only been awake for a month and she has had so much happen to her. What were those men talking about when they referred to species of cats in a company named "Critica" and who was that man who…

Aya felt the familiar wash of panic whenever she thought of what happened the day she woke up…she felt horrified and she didn't know what to think. She wasn't sure of anything in her life. All have changed, there was no constant. Her parents, her brother, her home, her LIFE had been altered all together. 

She felt hot breath against her neck. She opened her eyes to find Ran staring at her worriedly, "Aya, are you alright?" 

Aya smiled weakly. "I'm fine brother, just a bit tired."

Ran nodded. "I'll take you upstairs so you can rest."

He nodded at Yohji and led Aya upstairs to his room. 

Yohji watched the transformation in Ran. He found it almost incredible how changed Ran is in his sister's presence. Ran was constantly taking little glances at her, and when Yohji touched Aya, Ran had been like a hawk which nearly burnt two holes in Yohji when he kissed Aya's hand. Ran was not the cold, cynical bastard in front of her sister- that bastard was Aya, not Ran. And frankly Yohji didn't know whether this change is for the better of for the worse. If they got assigned to another mission would Ran be able to hold out as Aya did? 

"Yohji"

Yohji jumped. "Gee thanks Aya, scare the shit out of me won't you?" 

"When did Birman say the next mission was?" 

"That? Uh, it's going to be a while, why?"

"I need the money." 

Yohji looked at him, "You used all your money on her didn't you? That's why she's alive and upstairs right now, right?"

Ran remained silent. 

"You're not denying anything, Aya, she's woken up, why do you still need the money?"

"A conscious person needs expenses as well Yohji."  

"I know that, but the money you earn at Koneko should supply you two just about right," it was true, Ran worked in the shop from 7 till 5, and he still performs all his missions perfectly, where did he get all those energy from? Yohji wondered. "Why are you…?" 

"You're being nosy." 

Yohji was getting frustrated. "Aya, it's not like it's a good job or anything…What would Aya-chan think if she finds out?" 

Ran merely turned and walked away, throwing another "You're being nosy" over his shoulder. 

Yohji folded his arms, yep, still Aya the bastard. 

**Chapter 4: The Crimson-Soaked Residential of Schwartz **

Naoe Nagi fiddled with Schuldig's watch. Estet disbanded, Taketori's gone. There was no use for the existence of Schwartz in any way, but why were they still together? Indeed, why did they go as far as to keep a totally insane maniac in their house?

None of them have ever talked of leaving this house, with its ugly purple wallpaper and its bloody memoirs. None of them seemed to want to escape their dark past simply because… the past they shared together was better than any other past they might have had, or did have. The crimson that infiltrates each and every corner of their mind, body and soul was to them, salvation. At least, it seemed like so to Nagi. 

The sickness of this all, they should have been cast down to the lowest living creatures and yet, they could still find salvation in their heads. They should have been the outcasts, but they were living the most comfortable life material wealth could supply. They should have been alone, but, oh the irony, they had each others to be alone with.  

And it was this form of pathetic perfection that Nagi, for one, would never, ever leave behind. 

He jumped when he felt something heavy land on his shoulder. Turning, he sighed with relief as it was only Schuldig who had soundlessly sat down next to him, right next to him. Nagi sighed as he moved. He hated it when people invade his personal space, more than ever if that person happen to be Schuldig. But, here was the irony again; he performed the most intimate acts with Schuldig. 

When he was young, someone had told him that his powers had enough potential to destroy Tokyo, if he allowed it to grow. Nagi had been controlling the growth of his powers since then. It was a painful task, like feet binding in ancient China. But Nagi knew it was for the better, if he could not control the powers then instead, the powers would control him. But recently, he discovered that his powers, despite the restriction placed on them by himself, have grown nevertheless, he was developing a little empathy. Though weak, he could synchronize with very strong emotions, such as anger and happiness. But what really disturbed him was that he could almost synchronize even the tiniest emotion change in Schuldig, and that he found that sometimes he could even direct his thoughts to Schuldig, even if Schuldig had a shield up. 

This is why Schuldig is his current main source of angst at the moment. 

…That and the fact that his back still stung like a bitch.

"Are you hiding something from me?" Schuldig asked almost carelessly, but Nagi could tell otherwise, Schuldig was being too cautious to be careless.

"No." 

"You're lying." Schuldig smirked, "you're being a bad kid." He scooted closer to Nagi so the younger boy was trapped between the armrest and Schuldig's body. "You should be punished." Schuldig whispered in Nagi's ear. 

Nagi moved as far as possible from Schuldig, the incident last night had caused his back to ache all morning and it wasn't getting any better. "I'm still worrying about Crawford." 

A hand covered his, Nagi flinched instinctively, but Schuldig merely picked it up and stroked Nagi's palm tentatively, almost in a loving way. Nagi hated it when this feeling was so close to what he wants to feel, but is not actually true. He was also completely aware that Schuldig might have caught every part of that thought. _Since when do I care? Nagi thought. _

Schuldig ran a tender hand down his back, Nagi winced, too shocked at the gesture to notice the pain. Slowly Schuldig guided his shoulders so Nagi's back was facing him. He lifted the shirt up gently and examined the damage. 

"You poor thing, why didn't you cry out or something?" Nagi frowned, as if Schuldig would stop if he did. 

_I would, you know I would. _The unexpected but pleasant answer surprised Nagi. He wanted to see Schuldig's face, because this was a rare occasion when Schuldig sounded sincere, but Nagi was too afraid to break the atmosphere, to afraid to break this little connection the two of them are finally seemed to be sharing. 

Slowly Nagi leant back, tilted his head, and kissed Schuldig's neck. 

Affection: that was the only feeling Schuldig could pick up from Nagi, affection and adoration. Such innocent feelings, such angelic purity; Schuldig _did_ feel guilty after having sex with him, he felt like he had just stamped on a white tapestry with muddy boots. Also, he felt his powers deteriorating, he knew this was going to happen, but he didn't know it was this fast. Schuldig could only sense vague thoughts from non-protected minds and emotions. Schuldig treasures this rare-found tranquillity. He knew that if he kept this up, he'd become completely normal very soon. No supernatural powers, no insanity threatening to take over, and then he would finally become free from the past. 

Schuldig removed his hands from Nagi's back and placed them around the younger boy; he leant down and captured Nagi's lips. It wasn't the fiery kisses he gave him in bed. This one was slow, gentle and passionate, a kiss that was not supposed to heat up, but it did. 

Nagi broke away, turned around and draped himself over Schuldig. He resumed the kiss once he got into a comfortable position, which involved hooking his arms and legs around Schuldig's broad form. Schuldig was more than happy to lean down and force Nagi to lie underneath him. Soon their position turned more than compromising. 

"You know people other than you two are going to have to use that couch?" Crawford, always a man of the best and the worst timing, came into the room just as…

"Why did you have to spoil it, things were just getting fun!" Schuldig broke away and sat up, tossing his messy hair back from his face. 

Nagi sat up as well, annoyed at Schuldig's tone, annoyed at the fact that he was hiding his true emotions behind this mask of cruelty and indifference. Schuldig looked back at him, just before Nagi felt a stab in his head, a _hard _stab. He clutched his head from the pain. 

-Don't _mess around with my head, kid. _Schuldig was obviously angry; Nagi could feel the emotion rolling off Schuldig's mental shield like hot steam. -_And for god's sake, keep your thoughts to yourself; you're giving me a headache. . _

_-Good. _

Schuldig smiled pleasantly and wrapped his arms around Nagi, "I think we won't bother you any longer Crawford, Sorry to ruin your virgin eyes… but… well, it's not like you couldn't see what is happening before it happened…" Crawford turned to meet Schuldig's eyes, the humour somewhat lost on him. 

"Schuldig…"

"Oh that's right; we're not experimental subjects of Estet anymore. We don't need to take injections to have artificial super-powers." Schuldig glanced at Nagi, pleased that he had yet made another day of a human living hell. There won't be much days like this left, Schuldig sighed. 

"Artificial…" Nagi frowned, thoroughly confused by Schuldig. "You mean you weren't…" 

"No, we're not natural born freaks." Schuldig's smirk widened, squeezing Nagi's shoulders harder than necessary, Nagi knew that he was going to have bruises the next morning. -_unlike somebody…   _

"Schuldig, that's enough!" Crawford ordered. He had seen what Schuldig was about to do and he was less than willing to let it happen. "I would like you to go to your rooms if you want to continue your previous activity." He looked at Schuldig who was about to speak up. "It is an order." Crawford turned and walked towards the door. 

"Where are you going Brad?" 

Crawford threw over his shoulder, "Don't call me Brad." And then was gone. 

Schuldig stared at Nagi, still somewhat stunned at the unexpected piece of news, and suddenly Schuldig felt like poking into Nagi's wound some more. "By the way, Farfello wouldn't insane if Estet didn't make him kill his parents, I think their experiment on him is a complete failure and they didn't have time to make another _mutant. So, they got you." he grabbed his watch, which Nagi had been clutching all this time and leant down. "I've better things to do than to sleep with a freak now." He waved his hands as he walked away. "Bye-bye!" Schuldig said in a sing-song voice. "Monster!" _

**Chapter 5: The Plaguing Remorse**

Crawford didn't know why he was parking outside Koneko No Sume Ie; probably driven by his profound conscience, perhaps by a sordid curiosity, perhaps just to get away from Schuldig's spiteful smirks. Whatever the reason, it mattered little now, because as Crawford ascended the steps leading to the front doors of Koneko No Sume Ie he felt a deluge of certain calamity overshadowing him. Unlike others, Crawford was blessed with the gift to sense actual coming calamity by Estet. His premonition gift, just like Schuldig's telepathy, and demoted rapidly once Estet stopped providing those chemicals into him. 

Crawford had always known that the powers of Schwartz were not natural, even Nagi, who could destroy an entire city, did not possess these gifts genetically. Eh was also unintentionally informed that their gifts would disappear if they separated with Estet. Schwartz probably continuously took some form of prescription in their food. Their powers would weaken, probably his and Schuldig's first, and it would eventually disappear in around 10 years. While Nagi…Crawford didn't know what was going to happen to the poor kid. He was too successful an experiment for anyone's sake. So now, Crawford's premonition skills only provided the ability for him to pick up vague ambiences of coming events and Schuldig's powers, despite still powerful, would soon dampen to empathy. 

He was snapped out of his daydream by footsteps only to stare into doe-eyes that constantly plagued his sleep in forms of nightmares. Fujimiya Aya was looking at him with fear, yet at the same time, with curiosity. Crawford didn't even want to think about the similarity in their emotions. 

"Wh- What are you doing here?" She whispered. Crawford had this feeling that she felt if she spoke any louder, he'd disappear, and why wouldn't she want that?

"I… came to see you." Crawford frowned at how clichéd his answer was. "To apologize for what I've done, I…" 

"It's not your fault." Fujimiya smiled at him, actually _smiled at this monster he was. "Besides, there's nothing… "She trailed off and looked to her side. There's nothing wrong with me." She continued and Crawford knew she was lying. _

Crawford was silent, for a moment he wanted to reclaim that composure he had when they were in the cell, but he couldn't, he didn't know how it was possible to commit such a misdeed and just turn around and walk away saying: "It's not my fault…" 

He did this, whether he was willing or not was not relevant, he had to be responsible for anything he does. And this was his responsibility; he had to face it head on, like a mission.  

"Please, if I could help… anything at all…" he was suddenly tongue-tied. He didn't know why he was being this inarticulate, why he was being this gentle, he didn't know he _could _be this gentle. "Just speak… and I'll do anything…" He grew more and more awkward as he spoke. 

Fujimiya reached out with her hands and touched his arm, gently, motherly, _lovingly.  And Crawford understood why Abyssinian would even be willing to kill in order for her to stay alive. She was truly precious, so pure, so untainted, so strong, yet so weak. Crawford cautiously touched her hand, afraid of tainting her even more. He was speechless at the moment, busy relishing in the few signs of affection forwarded to him. The last time somebody touched him on such pure and good intentions was when he was ten, when he was taken away by Schwartz from his mother. And Crawford had forgotten how that felt, to be touched and feel safety and positive emotions vibrating from that touch. He relished it, squeezing Aya's hands gently, returning her affections. _

Actually, Crawford wanted to laugh at the situation, the ludicrousness of life. He was being comforted by one of his victims, the one whom he had hurt the most. Out of all his victims, he felt most towards this vulnerable girl. He thought it impossible to not feel towards this girl, she had within her what he had seen in every one of his victims, and had tried to hide from ever since his first killing- humanity. She was weak and vulnerable because she was so human, so sensitive and sympathetic towards this world. And because of this, Crawford saw every other victim he had preyed on embodied as this girl. He could no longer smirk and walk away with a smoking gun and a pitiless glance. 

He wanted to thank her, but he didn't know why he would do that. But that one touch seemed to revive something very close to…

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!" 

Crawford turned around to see a ball of flame flying at him. He twisted to his side, but too late, and before Crawford knew it he was crashing into the glass windows separating the greenhouse and the shop. 

For a moment Crawford sat there, savouring the numbing pain. _Physical pain is good, Crawford decided, __at least it brings your attention to your body and not some screwed up part of your brain. However, Crawford knew it was unlikely that Fujimiya Ay- sorry, RAN, was going to leave him alone for him to contemplate the beneficial qualities of physical pain. _

Just as he thought, Abyssinian grabbed him by his collar and threw him out of the front door, a few girls gasped. For a moment Ran just stood menacingly over Crawford, Crawford looked up at that compassionless face, and started laughing. 

That laughter that he had withheld inside him ever since the day he r…assaulted Fujimiya Aya bubbled out of his mouth, like lava out of a volcano. It stung. It burnt his mouth as his entire body trembled. No, this laughter was all his weakness, all his guilt and emotions bubbling out of him, this laughter was what was behind his control and those pitiful powers. Crawford was howling, tears streaming out of his eyes; he felt his lungs burning and his stomach muscles began to convulse painfully. 

"Why hide behind that mask, Fujimiya?" He said, still lying on the ground, the positions mattered little, because Crawford knew that neither of them was superior to the other. "I know you are only looking at me like this because you are frightened of me, of what I might do to you and your precious sister, or what I've already done to her." With that, Fujimiya Ran visibly shuddered. 

Crawford stood up. His back was in such pain that he saw black stars in the back of his eyes. He wasn't Farfarello, he felt pain as clearly as any person beside him, but he was so used to pain that hiding it had become subconsciousness. Abyssinian was regarding him with a cool demeanour, but Crawford could tell, from Ran's clenched fist to his slightly trembling for, that he was fuming. Crawford straightened up his suit, attempting to gain back some control over his emotions. He swept his eye across the horrified faces of the girls, and fixed them on the doe-brown eyes of Fujimiya Aya. Crawford was shocked that she wasn't horrified at him, but rather, Fujimiya was more confused, she looked between her brother and Crawford, and Crawford didn't need telepathy to figure out what she was thinking: _How could someone as slender as Aya knock out Crawford? _Crawford smirked; he knew that within that almost fragile frame, there was force and brutality that were perfectly concealed by Abyssinian's coldness. He looked at Aya once more, and this time Aya noticed him, she smiled friendly. Crawford was confused, why, why did this girl have so much courage that she wasn't even afraid when she saw a mad man? 

He contemplated that question all the way back to Schwartz.   

~End of Part 1~

EN Notes: Due to the annoying Schuldig I now have to put the rating up into R. Let's hope he doesn't do anything more obscene that I have to change it to a NC-17 or abridge it… what a pain (Schuldig: Shut up I'm your muse, you're supposed to pay respect to me! Sides it's Nagi's fault as well!)

Well, everybody, I have FINALLY gotten hold of the entire Weiss Kreuz series, do you believe it? I haven't actually watched the entire thing until last weekend! Almost 3 years of waiting is not fun. And watching that I have noticed how absolutely INCORRECT Cocoon of Lies is, not only does it completely not follow the anime, I can't even spell people's names properly. But oh well, I'll try harder in this one. 

Speaking of that I've gotta think of a name for this fic (Crocodile Tears is just the prologue). And the pairing… apart from Schuldig/Nagi, I've decided to only have ONE MORE pairing which is yaoi, (gasp!) because I simply find the fact that either Ken or Yohji being gay is just… not possible. But Aya and Omi is quite questionable, and Schuldig, pft! "I'm a VERY close friend of Aya's" *suggestive leer* He's so bi! 

Anyway, I'm in a chatty mood, so I think I'll keep writing. 

Please Review! Thank you! 


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